If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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