Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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