singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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