that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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