once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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