I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
