I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
