Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
