My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
