that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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