we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
