I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize