we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
