i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
