I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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