I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
