we have pet lesbian snakes
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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