He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
