thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
