Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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