i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize