I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
