I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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