how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
