It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
