I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
