We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
