I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
