never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
