i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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