i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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