Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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