Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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