she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
