bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it