I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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