I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
