Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
