i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
