he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
