Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
