i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
