can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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