I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
