...so i touched it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ketchup is God's man juice
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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