question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
my liver is dry heaving
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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