matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ladies don't puke and tell
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
