R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
