Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Houston, we have a blender
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
