She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize