My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
