I got chris browned last night
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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