I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize