Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
