My girlfriend figured out who you are.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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