i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
A+ Viking dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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