The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
