I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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