seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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