There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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