But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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