apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize