I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
