What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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