I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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