She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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