u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
