bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
